It turns out that I completed 5 years at the work-place recently. It is a bit of a jumble because the employment contract and status during the times I joined was a bit of a mess and, so it was a surprise.
It also struck me that through all these 5 years I have seen folks move on to newer jobs/roles in other companies, sometimes I have seen them come back. Strangely enough, I have received not a single approach from anyone with regards to whether I was interested.
There are multiple explanations to this really. It might be that I was thought of being so “loyal” (that makes me feel like a dog) to the company that I wasn’t going to let go. Or, it could be that no one really knew as to whether I was actively looking out. I tend to conclude that the “jack of all trades” and “janitor of all shit” role that I have gotten to play so nicely has made me completely worthless for any other company out there. Which actually translates to the fact that I have a dead-end job. Or, I can figure out various trivial ways of making the job exciting by tweaking a knob here or, turning a parameter there but as a whole it is the humdrum going-nowhere job that has made me complacent and, has probably blinded me from going out and becoming actually employable.
Add to this the fact that I recently go to realize that I haven’t actually added much value to anything I do. And, it is a curious feeling. You either realize you are a failure or, you are told so in explicit terms. Irrespective of how you are enlightened, it is difficult to have a bitter aftertaste.
These are the times when you recall the surroundings – the soft clack of the keys on the board, the even softer sounds of mouse clicking. More importantly, you listen to the sounds of the hands of your wristwatch. And, that is what you remember.
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